Heightened Volcanic Activity Leads to Rise of Bearcano

An ancient bear burial ground where more than seven thousand bears have gone to die has become a half bear/half volcano that wants to kill us all.

 

SUMATRA, INDONESIA—high atop what researchers once believed was nothing more than a mountain bears had adopted as a massive graveyard, smoke billowed from the peak as strong vertical explosions began to erupt skyward and the entire mountain itself stood on four legs and turned into a massive thing scientists have dubbed “Bearcano”. Researchers are torn on whether this force of nature should be called a natural disaster or the largest animal attack on record. Whatever it is, it’s killing a lot of people.

Besides its heavy pyroclastic flows of gas-rich magma, the lumbering disaster can spew lava from its mouth and eyes, taking aim at population-dense areas. Bearcano traverses two and a half miles per step, making its ability to destroy large portions of land unprecedented. It has already taken out thirteen villages and is headed for Bangelir, the nearest metropolitan area. The death toll is impossible to determine but is likely in the trillions.

Scientists and military combat specialists remain stumped as to what could be done to stop the creature. Bearcano has no reaction to human weaponry of any kind. Everything from throwing knives to atomic weaponry has been tried. Atom bombs are absorbed like rain drops, only fueling the monster’s volcanic fury.

A volcanic ash advisory is in effect.

 


Editor in Chief of BNN. Author and illustrator of Bearmageddon, Axe Cop and the upcoming Dickinson Killdeer’s Guide to Bears of the Apocalypse: Ursine Abominations of the End Times and How to Defeat Them.

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