Bear Can’t Stop Laughing At Your Apocalyptic Election Posts On Social Media
When biologists at the Ursine Research Institute hooked a bear’s mind up to the internet, they were met with endless belly laughs as the bear read Facebook and Twitter posts claiming that Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump would bring about the apocalypse.
The bear’s name is Teddy and he is the first bear that humans have been able to communicate with using a new technology developed at URI called Project Ruxpin. Up until this week, the technology had only sent and received very basic communications with the bear. Common statements include “I desire honey” and “salmon is really good”.
But when researchers gave Teddy access to social media, the bear lost it. “The creature made a sound that could only be described as laughter. Heaving, out of breath, deep from the belly laughter,” lead researcher, Harland Kline said. “It was the election posts. Especially the ones claiming that one of the candidates was going to cause the end of the world. He just couldn’t stop laughing, it went on for hours.”
Researchers have not come to a conclusion as to why bears would find posts about the apocalypse so funny. Perhaps the bear knows something we don’t about the end of the world.
I will happily give you a permanent sidebar banner if you want one. You are America’s greatest undiscovered comedy resource.
Bears are terrible proofreaders. “Bear” not “ear.”
I would happily accept! It’s hard to find other venues that would want to share this web site.