The Top 5 Places For Bear Safe Camping

Hoping to go camping this year? Before you start planning, consider the danger of bear attacks. Here are five destinations that have proven to be the least dangerous when it comes to bear activity.

#1 The Moon

moon

The Moon is one of the nearest and most accessible destinations for campers seeking safety from bear attacks. Its low gravitational pull and lack of oxygen work wonders in deterring the predatory beasts. There were only a few dozen bear attacks recorded on the Moon in 2015 making it one of the most popular bear safe destinations in the universe.

#2 In the Earth’s Core

core

Though it’s true that bears are excellent at digging, many of them will not make the effort to go all the way to the Earth’s core. The extreme temperatures are great for dissuading ursine visitors, and who doesn’t want  to camp where there is no chance of rain and the temperature remains warm even at night? Don’t forget the marshmallows!

#3 Atlantis

atlantis

Is Atlantis real? We don’t know, but if you can find it we are pretty sure bears haven’t found it yet and it would be one of the most beautiful destinations on our list.

#4 On an Asteroid Careening Through Space

asteroid

Just like those guys in the movie Armageddon, you can camp out on a careening asteroid and suffer almost no bear attacks. The high winds make it hard to start a fire so be sure to bring a good camp stove.

#5 Inside a Cow’s Third Stomach

cow-stomach

A cow’s third stomach, also known as the omasum, is generally left alone by bears. Its elastic lining can fit almost anything with enough effort. If you can make it through the rumen and reticulum, you’ll find safe harbor in the omasum. Just make sure you don’t set up camp in the abomasum, a bear hot spot.

Please remember that no place is truly safe from bear attacks. Bears are extremely resilient creatures who are willing to overcome almost any obstacle to attack humans. This list is only a collection of the places least likely to encounter a bear.


Editor in Chief of BNN. Author and illustrator of Bearmageddon, Axe Cop and the upcoming Dickinson Killdeer’s Guide to Bears of the Apocalypse: Ursine Abominations of the End Times and How to Defeat Them.

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