Disney Announces Next Reboot Will Be “Real Pooh”

The box office success of “The Jungle Book” and “Beauty and the Beast” has inspired Walt Disney Pictures to release “Real Pooh”, the latest installment in their series of hyper-realistic reboots of 2D animated films for kids.

With the recent success of “Beauty and the Beast” and the excitement surrounding the new live-action version of “the Lion King”, Disney announced on Monday that they would be taking their live action reboot formula to the next level with “Real Pooh”. A live-action, hyper-realistic retelling of the Winnie the Pooh and his friends Piglet, Tigger, Eeyore, and others.

“We live in a time where everything is a remake or a rebranding. The reboot model is working for us,” said Disney Exec Robby Hopkins. “We think America is ready for Real Pooh now more than ever.”

“Real Pooh” already has some big names attached with director Alejandro González Iñárritu (the Revenant) and Vin Diesel (the Iron Giant) making the grunting and roaring sounds of the CG bear. Dee Bradley Baker, known best for his role as Perry the Platypus, will be making a majority of the animal noises for the film. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails) will be remaking the Winnie the Pooh theme song to fit the gritty new brand, as well as doing the soundtrack. His hit song “Piggy” will be worked into the film as well.

Disney fans everywhere get ready. Real Pooh is coming.

Editor in Chief of BNN. Author and illustrator of Bearmageddon, Axe CopDickinson Killdeer’s Guide to Bears of the Apocalypse: Ursine Abominations of the End Times and How to Defeat Them.

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