POKATOKE, OK—The Annual State Rodeo promised to be unlike any other this year and with the recent addition of grizzly bears, that promise has been fulfilled.
“They were tired of people saying that rodeo ‘may be the most dangerous sport’ in the world,” said event organizer Chuck Wilferd. “With bears, the rodeo is unequivocally the most dangerous sport there is.”
The event was a bloodbath, with clowns being the first to be ripped apart. The riders were next, then the ranchers and the vendors. The crowd partially survived, though nearly half were maimed or killed.
“The response was really great. People come to a rodeo to see a little rough housin’. That’s what they got,” said one of the event organizers who watched from a tower nearby.
Despite the many injuries and deaths, the waiting list for those who have signed up to compete in next year’s event is enormous. “These rodeo guys just can’t wait to get trampled and torn to pieces,” said one official. “It’s like they just want to die.” Some say the mental health of such individuals should be called into question. Others say to give’em ropes and strap’em to some bears.
When asked what inspires a person to participate in something so self-destructive, Wilferd simply answered, “yee-haw!” and tipped his hat. Next year’s event is sure to be the bloodiest in the history of the sport. Yee-haw indeed.
Editor in Chief of BNN. Author and illustrator of Bearmageddon, Axe Cop, Dickinson Killdeer’s Guide to Bears of the Apocalypse: Ursine Abominations of the End Times and How to Defeat Them.