WOODLAND HILLS, CA—Podcast titan Joe Rogan has come under fire for hosting many controversial guests, but his most recent interview with a 1,600-pound Alaskan grizzly bear has garnered harsh criticism from all sides of the political spectrum. Many have accused Rogan of being “bear-adjacent.”
“He’s given a platform to a ravaging murderer with nothing of value to say on any topic,” said Barry Weiss of the New York Times. “It’s a bad look.”
During the interview, Rogan attempted to reason with the bear about its decision to toss an entire bus full of scouts over a ravine, then elbow drop the bus from atop a massive nearby sequoia. The bear responded by eating the microphone and swiping the various swag, mugs, and paraphernalia off of the studio table.
At another point in the interview, Rogan had his assistant Jamie bring up a YouTube video of the bear tearing a family of caribou to pieces. Rogan analyzed the footage, critiquing the bear’s rear naked choke and giving it pointers on grappling and striking. The bear seemed to only become more enraged as Rogan attempted to offer friendly advice on hand-to-hand combat.
As tensions rose, the bear grabbed assistant Jamie and ended him with a piledriver. Rogan offered the bear a joint, reminding him that it was now legal in California to smoke marijuana, hoping to calm the riled beast. The video feed cut out soon after this.
Rogan’s remains were found dismembered and stuffed inside of his sensory deprivation tank. No official report has been made, but Rogan’s surviving staff say he is very resilient and will probably bounce back from this fairly quick.
More as it develops.
Authorities have issued a reminder to viewers of the podcast nobody should ever attempt to reason with a bear, citing the authoritative work, Bears Want To Kill You.