Should Inclusive Restrooms Really Include Bears?

Rancho Popantopalous, CA—It started when a local brown bear attempted to use the restroom at the Feldman Public Library in Rancho Popantopalous. At first, library staff refused the bear entry, but when it was clear that the bear self-identified as human, the issue immediately became more complex. The library’s restroom was an “inclusive restroom” and after some thought, library staff decided to allow the bear entry. Despite the mauling of three patrons, the community at large felt good about the decision and celebrated it as a big step for interspecies progress.

 

This led to a public policy allowing any local bears who identify as human to use any restrooms in the state, without exception.

With more bears using restrooms, the death toll has risen exponentially, causing some people to question if the policy has really been thought through. But this is only a small minority, mostly friends and families of the dead, who have been dismissed as bigots and hatemongers.

There is already talk of building larger stalls and urinals to accommodate the animals. “If you don’t like getting attacked by bears, go home and use your own bathroom,” said librarian Julianna Huxley. “Stop trying to set back the clock.”

 


Editor in Chief of BNN. Author and illustrator of Bearmageddon, Axe CopDickinson Killdeer’s Guide to Bears of the Apocalypse: Ursine Abominations of the End Times and How to Defeat Them.

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9 thoughts on “Should Inclusive Restrooms Really Include Bears?

  • March 10, 2017 at 3:51 pm
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    I’m not sure if this is meant to be mocking trans people or not, but it certainly comes off that way :\

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    • April 28, 2017 at 11:38 am
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      Get off your high horse . No mention was made of the bear’s gender choice. This is not about humans anyway!

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    • October 20, 2017 at 5:22 am
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      Well, it does appear to mock the Biology-challenged.

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    • October 20, 2017 at 7:30 am
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      It’s might be to mock those who deny biology. Or ones who think it is normal to think you are one thing one day and the next something else. The people who feel enlightened and deny that some might actually need help will one day wake up hopefully.

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    • October 20, 2017 at 5:49 pm
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      No Alisha it was meant to mock you. It’s called a trap, something else bears are familiar with.

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    • October 21, 2017 at 4:14 am
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      You shouldn’t read articles if you aren’t sure if they trigger you or not. Know what triggers you before you take the chance and trigger yourself

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    • October 22, 2017 at 9:30 am
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      Because it is forbidden to mock your sacred cows, right?

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  • May 2, 2017 at 5:40 pm
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    Hey, they don’t always go in the woods.

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