Man Who Covered Belly With Honey Slain by Bear

Cameron “Big Kahuna” Belt, 26, of Denton, TX, passed away in a violent bear mauling on November 22, 2016. The bear attacked him because he had slathered his belly in rich, gold honey which immediately attracted the attention of a 673-pound brown bear. When authorities asked Belt’s friends and family why he might have covered his belly in honey, one friend who wished to remain anonymous speculated that Belt had sought to give an explanation for the stretch marks he had incurred as he had grown more rotund. “He was very embarrassed about the stretch marks,” said the friend, “he always told everyone he had been attacked by a bear after pouring honey on his belly. Everybody knew it was a lie. They were clearly stretchmarks. It bothered him a lot more than it did us. But I guess he wanted to somehow make his fantasy a reality.” Belt’s action resulted in what may go down as one of the strangest methods of self-murder in human history.

“You should never cover your belly in honey. Even if you aren’t in bear country, they’ll find you,” local bear expert Rhonda Sumac said.

Cameron Belt was an artistic soul and a child at heart. He collected action figures and loved the winter. His friends joked that he was practically a big bear himself. Of course, those jokes have since ceased. He was born in Indiana before he moved to Texas to pursue a career as a hip, young, minister. He loved his action figures like they were his own children. Belt is survived by his Power Ranger collection, G.I. Joes and a Mr. Potato Head.

There will be a service on Sunday, December 11th, 2016 from 12:00-12:15pm. His action figures will be set up around the casket facing him and tears will be applied to their little eyes. The funeral is open to the public and will be held at Big Jake’s Funeral Home, 335 E. Skink Pkwy, Brickley, TX 47158. In lieu of flowers, if so inclined, please make a donation to the Homeless Action Figure Fund.
Published on Bearmageddon News Network on Nov. 22, 2016

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2 thoughts on “Man Who Covered Belly With Honey Slain by Bear

  • November 24, 2016 at 7:14 pm
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    If I applied honey to my stretch marked tummy, would I still be in danger? Do you think honey could have caused the earthquakes as well? I live in New Zealand and am very worried. We also eat honey.

    Reply

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