BNN — NASA’s forecast ferocity of Bearricane Ursa prompted a White House evacuation, spurred the U.S. military to deploy ships and aircraft, and had residents across the US seeking shelter.
No one had ever seen anything like it. What experts thought was another hurricane quickly proved to be something much larger, and much more dangerous. “We don’t know what else to call it. It’s a bearricane,” said Maxwell Parnell, director of the National Hurricane Center.
At 5 a.m., the disastrous storm was about 660 miles (1,065 kilometers) northwest of Guppy Creek, Alaska. The storm was moving south at 130mph, a speed that was expected to continue for an indeterminable amount of time. It hit the coast of San Diego hours later. Satellite imagery and reports from a hurricane observation plane revealed the storm contained more than the typical wind and rain. The violent storm was comprised almost entirely of swirling, flailing grizzly bears.
The Hurricane Center at NASA said that the best course of action would be a planet-wide evacuation, but that’s just not possible at this time. Last night, the first group of world leaders boarded a spacecraft and headed into space to wait out the storm.
Experts have arrived at the conclusion that the bearricane started somewhere in the Alaskan wilderness, where millions of bears began running in a circle, powered by their rage and feral desire for vengeance against mankind.
The forecast for the coming week shows bearricane Ursa’s center striking Alaska, coming through northwest Canada, down over the west coast of the US, then going up and down and all over the United States like a furious child with a magic marker. When it will stop, and where it will go from there, nobody knows. Authorities recommend hiding underground and leaving all honey and salmon behind.