Couple Watches Bear Majestically Climb Cliff to Atomic Elbow Them

Two hikers stopped to watch a large grizzly bear gingerly scale a cliffside. What happened next was shocking.

Nature Photographer Neal Fenton captured a moment rarely caught on film when he saw Anthony and Michelle Menton hiking a steep hillside. The couple had stopped to watch a large grizzly bear majestically ascend the rocks, clamoring up to the top of the cliff.

“The bear climbed with intention,” Fenton observed. “He had a plan.”

The bear did have a plan. One that would change the Menton’s lives forever—by killing them. Moments after reaching the top of the cliffside, the bear slapped its elbow three times, then leapt off the cliff’s edge and careened toward the couple with its elbow outstretched to come down on them with one fierce, punishing atomic elbow. It was at that very moment that Fenton snapped the picture that would haunt the Fenton family forever.

This is the full photograph of the grizzly bear performing an atomic elbow off the rocky ledge. A devastating move that would cost Anthony and Michelle Menton their lives.

Fenton then hid his eyes as the bear made impact. According to the observer, the couple was crushed to near powder, leaving almost nothing behind besides a light dusting of human particles.

Bear behavior research analyst, Chuck Swaggle of the Ursine Institute for Bear Attack Awareness says that bears see cliffsides, trees and mountain tops as naturally occurring turnbuckles. “We see a glorious vista point, they see the top rope,” Swaggle said. “The higher it is, the better to rain down devastating moves on their opponent from.”

…bears see cliffsides, trees and mountain tops as naturally occurring turnbuckles. “We see a glorious vista point, they see the top rope,” Swaggle said. “The higher it is, the better to rain down devastating moves on their opponent from.”

In one of Swaggle’s most famous studies, he found that bears climb up to high points often, but never to take in the glorious view as humans do. They always climb with the intention of doing a devastating aerial move, ignoring the view and keeping their eyes locked on their target at all times. “Sunsets and vistas mean nothing to bears. The look of horror in a man’s eyes before he gets owned? That’s bear’s sunset.”

couple
This grainy image is the last known image of Anthony and Michelle Menton before they were pulverized by the bear’s atomic elbow drop.

Other moves bears have been known to do after climbing to high points are atomic knee drops, diving back elbows, diving DDTs, diving double axe handles, diving bulldogs, diving headbutts, diving hurricanranas, diving crossbodys, moonsault double foot stomps, flying clotheslines, flying spinning heel kicks, corkscrew 450° splashes, reverse frankensteiners, and the occasional cannonball.

If you witness a bear ascending a tree or hillside, you should immediately run in the opposite direction and take cover wherever possible. However, most people do not see aerial bear attacks coming until it is too late. So be sure to look up regularly when in bear country. The forecast just might be a torrential downpour of devastating bear elbow.

 


Editor in Chief of BNN. Author of Bearmageddon, Axe Cop and the upcoming Dickinson Killdeer’s Guide to Bears of the Apocalypse: Ursine Abominations of the End Times and How to Defeat Them.

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One thought on “Couple Watches Bear Majestically Climb Cliff to Atomic Elbow Them

  • October 18, 2016 at 12:56 pm
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    Umbrellas should be used in Bear country where Bear’s are 30 feet or higher than you.

    Reply

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